Why Did We Pick This Fu@&!ng Date Anyway!?!?

**RANT ALERT! RANT ALERT!**

Ok, so the GAB Book Club was supposed to meet at my house today - my chance to have my girlfriends over to my house, eat good food and chat some. Imagine my chagrin when I check the Evite last night (so I know how much food to make) and see that a total of 4 (yes, ONLY 4) people are planning to show up. Then one person calls today to say they aren't coming - that leaves me and 3 others. After having gone to the store to buy all the stuff for a meal, busting my ass to get my house respectable enough for guests, and finishing up the book at midnight last night, I was a little pissed. Then I decided to call the whole thing off - and called the three that were coming and told them as much. I made the meal anyway (jumbo Florentine shells) and fed it to my family instead.

Now, I don't know if this is some kind of conspiracy against me, but I find this pattern a bit odd: the first meeting I hosted, I had quite a few people show up, but no one really liked the book (and don't lie - I could tell....the best comment was "it was really interesting and I probably would have not picked this up if it weren't for GAB"); the second meeting - a few less people came, and only 2 or 3 people finished the book; the last meeting before this one - about the same amount of people as the second, and at least most everyone finished (and liked) the book. Now this. I have to say - my feelings are pretty hurt. I manage to make it to just about everyone else's house every month (even this past January when The Girl was barely 3 weeks old) and I usually finish the book (there are maybe 2 or three I didn't finish). We sat around last month for almost 45 minutes trying to figure out a good date for everyone, and I get 3 FUCKING PEOPLE?!!?!? I realize people have a life outside of GAB Club, and I do too, but COME ON! Why didn't we pick a different date, then? Do I live too far away? Do I keep picking shitty books? Maybe my cooking is bad.....? Miss Francine told me not to take it personally, but it was a bit too late by then. Maybe I'm being childish, maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion, but right now it's the way I feel (and this is my space to rant, so rant on I will). I felt like sitting down and crying, but I didn't want The Bohunk to see me, otherwise he would have wondered out loud why I put myself through this.

The thought ran through my head.."maybe I should drop out....maybe I just won't go to the next couple of meetings...." but what good would that do me? I would just continue to feel bad and then on top of it, miss seeing my friends (after this rant, I might not have anymore friends). And some, secretly, may take this personally, call me childish and immature for letting such a minor thing get to me (Nichelle, my life doesn't revolve around book club....GET OVER YOURSELF!) but right now I can't help it. I'll wallow in my self-pity for a bit, then put on my game face and move on.

Maybe next time I'll blog about Brody instead....