Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Honesty Is The Best Policy

New Thing #5: I'm going to be more honest with the people around me. This doesn't mean I have been lying to the people in my life, but I most definitely have not been honest with myself and have not said what I really feel out loud. So I walk around feeling bad because I just "let stuff go" and no one around me knows what I'm really feeling. As far as everyone is concerned, I'm just happy and content and "oh, don't worry...it won't matter to Nichelle so we'll just go on this way" or my opinion on some subject is overlooked or even devalued. My not being honest and up front leads to me getting overlooked or ignored.

I suppose I've been too afraid of making people walk out of my life if I'm too honest, and that possibility does exist....but there is a fine line to walk, and as someone once told me "You can't change others, you can only change yourself, which may or may not make others around you change." So I can't worry about people leaving me...I feel like my true, lifelong friendships should be able to handle more "edgy" honesty than the superficial or short-term ones. And it doesn't mean that I can be brutal and cut people down or hurt them - that isn't the point of this either. But this is supposed to help me be healthier and, subsequently, the relationships I keep healthier too.

So, change #5 - be more honest. Be more upfront and stop hiding my feelings to the detriment of myself for the sake of the feelings of others, but still temper everything I do and say with compassion and empathy...the majority of the people around me are still my family and friends, and I love them.


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