Sunday, December 26, 2010

Is That For Me? Why, Thank You!

New Thing #3: I'm going to do more for me.  I have a job where I'm constantly doing things for others and sacrificing my time, and the remainder of my time and energy goes to my family and friends - leaving very little for me (here's a chance to refer to New Thing #2!).

I go into a store, and instead of buying something that I would like to have, no matter how small, I manage to talk myself out of it on the premise that my family needs something else more that I could be spending that money on  - including my alleged "mad money" in my own checking account for that very purpose.  Instead of treating myself to a mani-pedi, a new shirt, or cute shoes, I pay a bill or buy someone else something they need with it.  Then I resent it later and get mad at the wrong people for "making" me neglect myself.  Now, not all of this is on me, because if I try to take time for myself, then others around me get resentful and feel ignored (also going back to New Thing #2 - you get used to someone always paying all their attention to youand doing everything, when they stop it's a bit maybe its still all on me.)  :-)

Regardless, I have figured out that, in order for me to be good for others, I need to be good for me.  And in order to be good for me, I have to be nicer to me.  So, that means more pretty fingers and toes, more naps, more quiet time, less nagging/begging/repeating (those who don't listen or do just have to deal with the consequences on their own,) and more little gifts to me.  I can't do all this other stuff for everyone and still be happy, healthy and sane.  And I don't have to break the bank to do it either - it doesn't have to be about "bought" things...

So, change #3 - more things for the benefit of "Me."  Sounds selfish, but sometimes it's necessary (especially when no one else will do it for you.)


At 1:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nichelle Darling -- hear, hear!

It took me knocking at death's door to finally make that change, even though I SLOWLY tried to do it for years. It's tough. But completely worth it. That's where my Denver Post Column "permission to be selfish" came from. Give yourself permission. At first, everyone might be mad, but eventually they'll all reap the benefits and wonder how you ever managed to become even MORE wonderful than you already were. Keep up the good work! Oh, and check out my column when you get a chance: Maybe I should do an article on you and your changes!

Cheers my fellow Ram...


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